It has never been easier to reach someone, yet forming real, reciprocal connections is becoming increasingly rare. The tools of professional outreach are fast and frictionless. But that very ease has led to a troubling shift: the rise of the one-directional ask. Professionals across industries are experiencing it. Someone reaches out, often a stranger or a distant acquaintance, asking for time, insights, or introductions. There’s no context, no relevance, no offer of value. Just a vague request and an unspoken expectation.
This isn’t simply bad etiquette. It reflects a misunderstanding of what genuine networking is. Building strong professional relationships isn’t about identifying someone useful and then hoping they’ll fill in the blanks. It’s about understanding that everyone’s time is finite, and that respect begins with showing that you’ve considered the other person’s perspective.
This is where the What’s In It For Them principle becomes essential. It shifts the lens from entitlement to empathy. It isn’t about quid pro quo. It’s about demonstrating that you’ve thought through the ask, that you recognise value should move in both directions. If there’s one professional networking tip that needs reviving, it’s this one. WIIFT isn’t optional. It’s foundational.
"The professionals who rise fastest are the ones who give before they ask."
The What’s In It For Them Principle Isn’t Hard. So Why Is It Rare?
To many experienced professionals, the What’s In It For Them principle is second nature. If you’re asking someone for their time, their insight, or their influence, it should be a given that you approach the interaction with respect and context. You consider their perspective, think about their workload, and understand that their calendar isn’t yours to claim. In that light, the WIIFT principle doesn’t just feel reasonable. It feels like the baseline for professional respect.
Yet, despite its simplicity, this mindset is far from universal. Particularly among early-career professionals—or those unfamiliar with effective networking etiquette—one-directional asks are common. The message might sound harmless on the surface: “Can I pick your brain?”, “Do you have 15 minutes for a quick chat?”, or “You seem like someone who might help me figure this out.” But what these approaches often lack is any signal that the requester has considered what the other person might need or value.
These are not malicious or arrogant asks. They’re usually the result of not being taught better. But they miss one of the most important professional networking tips: thoughtful outreach is not about what you want, it’s about how you show respect for what others are giving.
The good news is that practicing WIIFT doesn’t require extravagant gestures or a perfect trade. Most of the time, it’s about three small actions: acknowledge the person’s time, explain why you chose them specifically, and offer some form of value in return. That might mean sharing something helpful, extending support in the future, or simply showing you’ve done your homework. It takes minutes, but it changes everything. And it moves your outreach from an ask to an opportunity—for both sides.
WIIFT Is the Foundation of How to Ask for Advice Professionally
There’s a common misunderstanding about the What’s In It For Them principle. Some view it as overly calculated, as if every interaction must be part of a subtle trade. If we’re always considering what the other person gets from a conversation, are we cheapening the connection? Are we slipping into transactional habits that undermine authenticity?
In truth, WIIFT does the opposite. It protects professional relationships from becoming transactional by prioritising intent and mutual respect. It encourages us to pause and ask not just what we need, but what the other person might find meaningful, useful, or worthwhile. That reflection isn’t cynical. It’s empathetic. It signals emotional intelligence.
This is the foundation of how to ask for advice professionally. It’s not about crafting the perfect pitch or offering an immediate return on investment. It’s about showing the person you’re approaching that you’ve thought beyond your own needs. You’ve considered why their input matters, how your interaction could be useful for them, and what kind of conversation will be worth their time.
In many cases, the reciprocity doesn’t need to be material. A relevant article, a timely introduction, or an offer of future support can communicate just as much as any tangible benefit. Even a sincere message that says, “I value your time, and I’m committed to making this worth it for both of us,” can shift the dynamic entirely.
People are more likely to say yes when they feel respected, not recruited. The WIIFT principle signals that respect. It turns one-sided requests into meaningful engagements and transforms outreach from opportunism into opportunity. In professional networking, few things are more powerful—or more overlooked.
The Cost of Ignoring the WIIFT Principle in a Professional Setting
Overlooking the What’s In It For Them principle may seem harmless in isolation, but the long-term consequences can be significant—especially in fast-paced or high-responsibility environments. One thoughtless message won’t end a career, but repeated one-sided asks signal a pattern. And in professional circles, patterns matter.
Within organisations, the effect is often underestimated. Senior colleagues are regularly inundated with vague or poorly framed requests. Over time, this leads to cognitive overload, fragmented attention, and growing frustration. People begin to protect their time more aggressively, often becoming more selective about who they engage with. Not because they lack generosity, but because they need to preserve their focus for those who bring clarity and respect to the table.
When the WIIFT principle is ignored, it doesn’t just strain individuals. It affects the culture. Collaboration suffers. Generosity is replaced with guardedness. A team or company where requests feel one-sided can quickly become one where knowledge sharing and mentorship are seen as burdens, not opportunities.
Externally, the damage shows up in reputational ways. In a noisy world where professionals are bombarded with messages, those who fail to consider how to ask for advice professionally tend to blend into the background, or worse, become known as time-wasters. People do remember who respected their time and who didn’t. That perception shapes future responses, introductions, and opportunities.
At scale, the absence of WIIFT erodes the norms that make professional communities function. Frustration grows among those being asked, and genuine chances for connection are lost by those doing the asking. This is why so many respected professional networking tips emphasise one core principle: be intentional, be respectful, and be reciprocal. It’s not just about getting a response. It’s about building a reputation that others want to respond to.
Bringing the WIIFT Principle Into Everyday Practice
To make professional communication more respectful, effective, and sustainable, we must embed the What’s In It For Them principle into our daily behavior. WIIFT should be modelled by senior leaders, reinforced in team cultures, and introduced early in professional development. If we treat it as an optional technique rather than a core principle, we risk reinforcing the very behavior that leaves networks fragmented and trust eroded.
Importantly, WIIFT is not about turning every exchange into a transaction. It’s about leading with clarity, empathy, and respect. These are qualities at the heart of every credible framework for how to ask for advice professionally.
Here are practical ways to start building WIIFT into your approach:
Frame Your Ask with Their Perspective
Pause before sending a message. Ask yourself: Why might this matter to them? Are they under pressure or managing competing priorities? Can I be clearer, or make the request easier to respond to? This simple thought process improves both tone and outcome.
Offer Value (Even Symbolically)
You don’t need a grand offering. A note that says, “If there’s anything I can ever do to help in return,” carries weight. It shows you understand that time and energy are resources, and you’re not asking for them blindly.
Respect the Format and the Time
Clear, concise outreach signals consideration. Offer asynchronous options like email over calls. Set realistic expectations: “5–10 minutes,” or “a quick question” gives others control over how they respond, which matters more than many realise.
Normalize Public Boundaries
Professionals should feel empowered to communicate how they prefer to engage. A simple line in a bio like “I prioritise mutually beneficial conversations” can establish tone without discouraging outreach. It promotes a networking culture grounded in respect, not assumption.
The more we practice WIIFT, the more we reshape norms for the better.
The What’s In It For Them principle is not just a helpful framework or a polished networking tactic. It’s a reflection of something deeper: professional respect. In a world where outreach is effortless and attention spans are limited, WIIFT helps reintroduce a standard of mutual regard that many are quietly craving. It brings structure back to the art of asking. It reminds us that time is not something people owe you, that goodwill must be earned, and that professional success is rarely built on one-sided interactions.
This is especially important when learning how to ask for advice professionally. People remember how you made the approach, not just what you asked for. Was it intentional? Was it respectful? Did it signal that you understand their work, their time, and their value?
Before your next message, pause and ask: “Have I truly considered what’s in it for them?” If not, take a step back. Refine your ask. Clarify the mutual benefit. Even small adjustments can transform a cold request into a meaningful connection.
Because the professionals who build lasting networks, earn long-term trust, and develop reputational capital are rarely the loudest. They’re the ones who show up with empathy, clarity, and respect. Every time.
Most networking fails because it starts with a request instead of a relationship.
Through strategic HR consulting and people-first business advisory, we help leaders and teams apply principles like WIIFT to drive real impact. Book a discovery call